After giving up the school seat to my sister
Chapter 1
Only one of us could go to college. I let
Brittany, my sister, have the chance. She was
always the smart one, and I figured I could work and help pay for it.
But in her second year at UCLA, she dropped out. Tossed it all away to have a baby with some wannabe rapper with face tattoos.
“Everyone always pressured me to achieve,” she said, like it explained everything. “He’s the only one who makes me feel loved.”
Then, Mr. Loved got into a fight and landed in jail. Brittany swiped the money I’d been saving for a doctor’s visit
—
money my Nana left me
just to keep her precious baby daddy out of
–
prison.
<
I died in that hospital. And when I woke up, I
was back in high school, a week before
graduation.
Brittany was crying, begging. “Sarah, please? I
really want to go to college.”
This time, I wasn’t giving her anything.
1
I couldn’t believe it. One minute I was gone, the
next I was staring at the same old ripped couch
and Brittany’s tear–stained face.
“Look, I know things are tight,” she said, her
voice all shaky. “We both know Mom and Dad
can’t afford to send both of us to Berkeley,
right?”
“I really, really want this, Sarah. Just… please,
just let me have this one thing.”
Mom and Dad were there, too, nodding along, their faces a mix of pleading and expectation.
“Sarah’s always been so good at looking out for
her sister. I’m sure she wants what’s best for
Brittany.”
“Brittany always did better in school anyway.
She’s more likely to get a good job and help the
family”
I sat there, speechless for what felt like forever.
Just like last time.
Truth was, I’d scored higher on the SATS, beat
Brittany by 20 points. First time I was ever
smarter in a standardized test. But for the past
decade or so, Brittany had always been the
bookworm. So under the constant pressure
from my parents, I gave Brittany my blessing.
When helping her pack her stuff for college, I
kept telling her how proud she made me.
11:18
88
“Brittany, you’re the first one in our family to go
to college! This is huge. Just promise me you
won’t screw it up, okay?”
Brittany was just sitting on the bed, glued to
the new iPhone I got her with my earnings from
working over the summer. Muttering, “Yeah,
yeah, I got it.”
Only later did I find out she was texting some
dude she met online.
She was so desperate to go to college, not
because of school, but because she wanted to
meet up with this loser in person.
But at the time, I had no idea. Thought I was
nagging her too much.
Once she got to school, Brittany started calling
all the time, complaining about how expensive
everything was.
<
“I can’t even afford ramen! How am I supposed
to study when I’m starving?”
So I worked my butt off, saved every penny, and
sent her everything I could.
Then the university called.
The woman told me Brittany was getting kicked
out because of failing grades and skipping the
makeup exams.
I was shocked, and I called Brittany, who was
crying and saying that her roommates were bullying her and she was severely depressed.
And that I shouldn’t tell Mom and Dad about her
flunking out.
I was panicking, but I was working at a factory
abroad at the time, so I couldn’t go back. I sent
her my life savings so she could rent an
apartment and get help.
<
I was sick as a dog, but I didn’t care. I took the
first flight back.
When I got to campus, it was all a big lie.
Brittany didn’t have depression.
The reason she wanted more money was
because of her new boyfriend.
When I confronted her, she became angrier
than me.
She said, “All you guys do is try to make me
work hard. But I just wanna be loved! Only he
makes me feel loved.”
“You used to pay for my school, but now you
won’t give me money. You only see me as an
investment!”
Brittany got dramatic and broke up with me.
<
Later, I died in the hospital and she never even
came.
