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Sabrina’s POV
“And don’t you also want to know the real reason why Nicholas married you?” Clara continued, her tone full of concern. “It could be that behind your marriage there is something deeper than just obligation or responsibility. If you never ask, you might never know the answer.”
I lowered my head, absorbing Clara’s words. True, I never really asked Nicholas to be honest about why he married me. This marriage always felt one–sided, but I never once tried to dig deeper. I was afraid to hear the truth, afraid that the answer wouldn’t be what I expected. But over time, this fear actually piled up unbearable mountain of sadness and anger.
into an
Clara squeezed my hand, gently encouraging me. “Sabrina, try to be brave and open your heart. Try to be honest, even if it’s hard. Maybe, behind all of this, there are things you don’t know. Maybe Nicholas also has his own feelings that he never expressed.”
I took a deep breath, feeling both fear and courage slowly growing inside me. Maybe it was time to stop running away and start searching for the truth in my own marriage. If I really had to let this go, I at least wanted to know why from Nicholas himself.
I looked at Clara, giving her a weak but determined smile. Thank you, Clara. Maybe this is the first step I should take.”
Clara nodded warmly. “I’m always here for you. No matter what happens, remember you’re not alone.”
Clara looked at me intently, as if she could sense that our conversation still left a burden on my heart. She smiled softly, then offered, “Sabrina, how about we go out for dinner? There’s a new restaurant that has a really good menu. I’m sure eating something good will help you feel better.”
I smiled thinly and shook my head slowly. “Thank you, Clara. But I think I’ll just go home. I have a lot to think about.”
Clara looked a little disappointed, but she nodded in understanding. “Okay, but if you change your mind, you know I’m always here for you, right?”
I nodded, trying to put on a genuine smile to ease her worries. But deep inside, there was a question that kept nagging at me: should I tell Clara? Should I tell the only person who might truly care that I… was dealing with something I might never fully understand? That this constant pain wasn’t just a wound in my heart, but something I couldn’t heal myself? That I… had stage two blood cancer.
I felt a lump in my throat, imagining Clara’s reaction if she found out. All her words of comfort, her genuine concern, would turn into worries I didn’t want. All this time, I had tried to convince myself that this was just a normal life test. That I could still stand strong, even though my body often betrayed me. Keeping this secret was hard, but I knew how much harder it would be if Clara found out. I didn’t want her to be dragged into my sadness.
the
Besides, what was the point of worrying the people around me? Nicholas was already busy with Hazel and Charlie, and I didn’t want to be a burden to Clara. This was a battle I had to fight alone. The pain, the nosebleeds, weakness of this body… it might continue to be there, but as long as I can hide it, I still have control over my life.
I looked at Clara for a moment, smiling faintly. “I’ll be fine. Thank you, Clara.”
Clara returned my smile sincerely, but I could see a hint of doubt in her eyes. It was as if she knew there was something I wasn’t saying. But she didn’t press, perhaps because she wanted to give me space to talk when I was ready.
We parted with a warm hug, and I walked home with a slightly calmer heart. Even though I chose to keep this
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secret, at least there was someone who was willing to listen and give me support. In the midst of my loneliness, Clara was the only one who truly cared unconditionally. I didn’t want to ruin that by telling her about my illness, This was my own burden and only I would bear it.
I was afraid that if Clara found out, she would dare to tell Nicholas. I didn’t even know if Nicholas would change if he knew about my illness. But I should just keep it to myself
The heavy feeling was so heavy, and I knew the decision to keep this secret wasn’t easy. Clara had always been a supportive person to me, and I didn’t want to change our good relationship. For me, keeping my distance from this problem was my way of protecting myself, even if it meant being forced to bury my sadness and fear alone.
I walked slowly, enjoying every second of the journey home. The night began to creep in softly, the streetlights twinkling like stars waiting to be told. In my heart, there was a desire to share with Clara, but at the same time, I felt afraid of the consequences. Would I hurt her by telling ber?
I
I remembered our previous encounters and how our laughter and light stories could distract me from all my problems. However, there were lonely moments when thoughts of my illness came back to haunt me. Often, imagined what would happen if Clara finally found out and the reactions that would arise from all this. Nicholas was a big part of my life, but it made things difficult. I knew he cared, but sometimes the more people knew, the more it weighed on me. My illness was like a shadow that followed me, and I just wanted to find a way to deal with it without disrupting the lives of the people I loved, including Clara.
I walked home and took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. Maybe someday, I would find a way to open up, but for now, I chose to hold on. Hopefully, through all of this, there was hope and strength that I could find on my own.
