65
Sabrina’s POV
I sat in the living room of my small apartment, looking at the cold cup of tea on the table. The afternoon sunlight filtered through the window, casting soft shadows on the floor, but my mood was far from warm.
My mind wandered to various disturbing things. Every second felt heavy, as if there were a burden that couldn’t be lifted. Memories of the past swirled in my inlid, reminding one of decisions made and paths taken. Although the beauty outside seemed calming, inside me, anxiety and loneliness took over.
My mind kept turning, thinking about Charlie. Yesterday afternoon, he sat in front of me, smiling a little while enjoying the pancakes I made. I can even remember his voice when he said, “Mommy Sabrina, this is really delicious.” Those words warmed my heart, even though I knew the word “Mommy” he said probably only came from comfort, not because he really thought of me as his mother.
This fact creates a mixture of happiness and sadness. On the one hand, I felt connected to Charlie, but on the other hand, I was also aware that the boundaries between us were very clear. He’s not my child, and even though I want to give him the best, I can’t completely ignore that fact.
As the sunlight slowly faded, I felt a deep longing to be a more meaningful figure in his life. However, questions about my identity and my place in his life continued to haunt me.
But that comfort didn’t last long. Hazel’s face appeared suddenly at the door. His anger felt like a storm had hit, filling my small room with a suffocating cold aura. I could see the fear on Charlie’s face as he stood stiffly beside me, holding my hand tightly.
“Hazel, calm down. We can talk,” I said then, trying to calm the fire in his eyes. However, Hazel didn’t listen. He just looked at Charlie sharply, then pulled his little arm without caring that Charlie was trying to fight back.” We’re going home now,” he said forcefully.
“No, Mommy! I want to be here with Mommy Sabrina!” Charlie burst into tears, making my chest feel crushed.
The sound of crying shocked my heart and mind. I felt a mixture of pain and anger. “Hazel, don’t do this to him,” I said, trying to get Hazel’s attention. At that moment, I knew I had to fight for Charlie, even though I realized that fighting Hazel was a big gamble.
I wanted to hold Hazel; I wanted to defend Charlie, but I knew it wasn’t my right. I’m not his biological mother. I’m nothing in this situation, even though my heart says otherwise.
Hazel pulled Charlie out of my apartment with almost brutal force. I could only stand in the doorway, watching them disappear behind the stairs, Charlie’s cries could still be heard faintly, and I felt so helpless.
Every second that passes makes me more devastated. Pain and helplessness enveloped my heart. I wanted to run after them, but I knew that I had to be careful. I didn’t want to make things worse for Charlie.
With a heavy breath, I closed the door, trying to calm myself even though tears were welling up in my eyes. In the silence after they left, I promised myself to fight for Charlie, even though it all felt so complicated.
Now, I sit here alone; the image keeps repeating itself in my head. It feels like a wound that won’t heal.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my agitated heart. “You can’t do this, Sabrina,” I muttered to myself. “Charlie is not your son.” But every time I say that, my heart refuses to believe it.
Every memory with him, every smile and laugh, felt too precious to ignore. The affection that grew within me was so strong that it seemed to bind me to Charlie in an inexplicable way. I know that this situation is complicated, but the desire to protect him continues to burn.
With my thoughts racing, I felt trapped between reality and my hopes. Maybe there was a way to make things right, to show Hazel that Charlie needed more than blood ties. In that silence, I resolved not to give up.
I knew from the start, from the moment I first met Charlie that I shouldn’t get too attached. But how could I not love that child? He’s so sweet, so innocent, and so desperate for affection that I think he’s having a hard time getting it from Hazel.
Seeing his smile, hearing his laugh–everything made my heart open. Every moment with him was a gift, and the longer it went on, the harder it was for me to maintain distance. Even though I knew I should be careful, the affection only grew deeper.
But now, when he’s gone, I feel as if I’ve lost a part of me. The fact that I couldn’t protect him from sadness and injustice made me feel broken. In my mind, I was determined to find a way to be by his side, even if it meant fighting against all odds.
My hand instinctively reached for the phone on the table. My fingers hovered over the screen, eager to call Hazel, to find out how Charlie was doing. But I knew it would only make things worse. Hazel would surely scold me again, maybe even more harshly than yesterday.
With a heavy heart, I resisted the urge to press the call button. I knew that my overflowing emotions would only complicate the situation. Instead, I had to stay calm and think clearly. Charlie needed protection and support, and now I had to plan my next steps carefully.
I stared at the phone screen, trying to find another way to get information without making things more complicated. In my mind, I began to formulate a strategy, hoping to find a way to help Charlie without crossing any boundaries.
I sighed and put the phone back down. It felt torturous not being by Charlie’s side, not being able to ensure he was okay. I remembered his face when he cried yesterday, how he reached for my hand as if I were his protector.
2/2
