- 4.
I didn’t go to the hospital. Instead, I took a Lyft back home.
Ben and I rented a small one–bedroom. There was a bookshelf by the door, filled with books. I made him sign up for a bachelor’s program. My mom was right, he didn’t have an education. He said he just had an associate’s when I met him.
We were both young. He was smart, he had so
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much time to climb. Even if he decided to raise
pigs, someone with a bachelor’s got paid more.
I worked all day, then helped him with the books
at night.
Every morning, while we brushed our teeth, I
made him go over the flashcards.
I’d studied those old tests with him over and
over.
We managed to pass those exams in just a few
weeks.
To celebrate, we looked up coupons to eat
some ramen.
Now, I was reading what Tiffany had dug up, it
was crazy.
[His name is not Ben, I can’t say his real name.] [You asked about college? He went to Harvard. He’s young.]
I leaned on the couch, pressing my hands on my forehead. My stomach was in knots.
The door opened, I looked up. Ben, fresh from
the hospital, had come home.
He had a bunch of missed calls, he was
breathing hard.
く
He came to me, looked at my face, like I was in
a mirror.
“Where’d you fall?” He smiled, looking at my
hands. “I’ll put some cream on you so the cuts don’t get infected.”
I realized he didn’t know what I was thinking.
I took my hands back and looked away. I realized he was always calm, like he’d never lost his mind over something.
I thought that came from his past, the struggle
he’d gone through, but I knew now, it came from having power.
I got up and put on my shoes.
He grabbed my wrist, “Where are you going?”
“Work.” I smiled, “I feel a little better, need to go get ready. Don’t be late.
“Taking a sick day means losing $80.”
“Jane, don’t be crazy…”
“Go to work too.” I pushed him. “No sick days.”
He went to talk to the doctor. I could see how
respectful the doctor was with him.
I was starting to see all of it.
Like the soup he brought, the homemade wine
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a coworker had given us, the treats we never
saw outside.
