- 5.
As I pulled out of the parking garage, I saw Ben
on the side of the road.
He said he didn’t like to drive, so we rarely
used the car we bought.
Then a black Range Rover pulled up next to him, a driver in a suit opened the door.
The car didn’t go to Ben’s office. It went past the highway, and to a secluded neighborhood. I parked on the side of the road, looking on.
I remembered all those times I’d helped him edit his resume.
Every resume was personalized.
All those resumes had gotten him the interview
but he never got past it.
Finally he got this lame job. The pay wasn’t great but they did give him the best insurance. He never spent money. He put everything in my account, I gave him some for pocket money.
I thought that was love, but it wasn’t, I didn’t
even know.
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9:19
I drove to my usual ramen spot.
“The usual? Where’s Ben today?” The owner
asked.
I’d been bringing him here every week since I
first met him.
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“He’s busy, yeah the usual, extra scallions and
cilantro.”
Halfway through eating, I said. “I remember
they shut this place down a few years ago.
How’d it get back here?”
The owner wiped his face and sighed.
“I don’t know, they just told me I could open
shop again. I don’t even need to do this
anymore.”
I ate the rest of my bowl in silence.
The stairs would always light up when we
walked in, the wood always creaked.
My grandma had gotten so sick a few years
back, her blood supply was sorted in no time,
she even got into a special ward that I could
never afford.
I went home and pulled out all the purses from
under the bed.
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9:19
I knew they were real.
The first time he had given me one, I thought he
was just buying it because everyone else had
one.
I wore it to work, to prove to him that I was
happy, I’d turned around a few times in front of
him.
He had just smiled.
Some of the girls at work had looked at my
bag, “This thing is impossible to get, with all
the extra orders, that’s two million right there, are you rich?”
I held up the strap, “It’s fake.”
Later, I told him, “Fakes are expensive too,
don’t waste your money, I don’t need them.” He smiled at me, “Keep them, you never know.” He was right, I’d saved up for five years and still couldn’t get a house, these bags could buy me a couple.
My eyes were starting to hurt, this feeling I’d been carrying for a while.
It was resentment. I was pissed off, mad as hell.
Ben, if you had just been trying to play me, I
wouldn’t ho
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<
9:19
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wouldn’t be as mad.
But you let some of the truth come out, who
are you trying to trap here?
