Novel Wave 23

23 

REBECCA 

Punctual as a Swiss watch, Reiner showed up the next morning at my door: we had decided to 

leave early, at 5:30 a.m., to avoid traffic and get to the cabin while it was still morning, to enjoy 

as much of the weekend as we could. 

Like the night before, he greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek: they lasted barely 

less than last night, but I didn’t dare complain about it – not when his every touch sent sparks racing across my skin and just smelling his scent made me feel alive, reborn. 

A beggar could hardly be a chooser – or expect much of anything. 

“Hey,” I greeted him. 

“Hi Becks” he yawned: he’d never been a particularly early riser. “The pups?” 

“Still asleep. We should be able to put them in the car without waking them… thankfully, 

they’re heavy sleepers,” I said. 

Reiner nodded. “I’ll go bring their backpacks down, then,” he said, taking the two backpacks I’d 

abandoned the night before by the door, which contained changes of clothes for the kids, their 

bathroom essentials, and their favorite plushies. 

In the ten minutes I had, I checked again that all the lights were off and that I had turned off the gas, faucets, and non–essential appliances: then, I devoted myself to give Moses some 

cuddles, for which he was very grateful. 

When Reiner came back up, we took the kids and closed the door: less than half an hour later, 

we were already on the highway. 

“Slow down,” Reiner grumbled, devouring his croissant. We had stopped to get something for 

breakfast a few minutes ago: he had taken his usual extra–black, little–to–no sugar coffee with 

a chocolate croissant, while I had taken tea and a salmon and avocado bagel. 

“I am going slow” I sighed, not holding back a half–smile. 

Since my parents had died when I was little and I had no living relatives, I’d grown up in the pack house: the orphans (there were other two besides me) were taken care of by Reiner’s 

aunt Frances, his father’s sister, who had no children of her own. Reiner was three years older 

than I was, so when my sixteenth birthday had begun to approach, he had offered to teach me 

how to drive: needless to say, he was a safety fanatic even at nineteen – only I didn’t know who 

1/5 

+8 Point 

23 

he was more afraid for, whether for the two of us or for his car. 

“This isn’t going slow,” he commented. 

“My car, my rules,” I huffed. “And anyway this is going slow, you’re just anxious. And if I, the 

queen of anxiety, say so…” 

“Okay, okay” Reiner relented with a chuckle, raising his hands in defeat. “I declare defeat. Only, 

if we crash…” 

“Reiner, we’re not going to crash. I’m even going slower than usual because I know you’d freak out otherwise – and anyway, there’s no one we could collide with.” 

Reiner chuckled. “I’m already freaking out. The only reason you’re not seeing me koala–hugging the seat is just because I have a vague semblance of self–control.” 

I swallowed – that choice of words … had not been accidental. 

Vague semblance of self–control: those were the same words he had used during our last date before our official mating ceremony, a date in which things between us had… heated up a bit 

too much. 

Easy, baby, I could almost hear him chuckling in my ear again as he left a trail of open–mouthed kisses down my collarbone after I reminded him that we couldn’t go any further. If I’m not ripping your clothes off, it’s just because I have a vague semblance of 

self–control. 

We might not have made it to the final act, that night, but … we had taken our pleasure in 

other ways. 

He knew it. 

There was no doubt in my mind – Reiner was not one to use random words. If he had chosen to use that specific phrase, it was for a good reason – and that reason was to let me know that he knew full well that, when he had held me close to him the previous evening, I had grown 

aroused, 

I swallowed, managing, miraculously, to maintain a relaxed and cheerful expression. 

“Oh sure, it’s certainly of your proverbial self–control – certainly not your fear of looking like a frightened weasel,” I teased him. 

This time it was his turn to be stunned – and he wasn’t as good as I was at concealing it, for 

he stared at me with his jaw on the ground for a good five seconds: whether because of my 

response or my ‘apparent‘ lack of reaction to his attempted provocation, or both, I didn’t know. 

2/5 

23 

+8 Point 

“Please – please, I want a truce,” Reiner sighed, ill–concealing a smirk. 

“Mmmh, I feel generous enough to grant it to you,” I chuckled. 

“I’ll make sure to thank the Goddess for your magnanimity.” 

Once that little banter was put to rest, the conversation shifted to lighter topics until it waned – and finally, even Reiner was able to relax despite my non–grandmotherly driving style. He relaxed so much that he fell asleep – and it took all my self–control not to burst out laughing: 

he and Violet had, at that moment, the exact same expression of blissful tranquility, with their 

mouths half open. 

Neither of them was a particularly early riser – on the other hand, however, they loved to stay up late. 

Immersed in the car’s white noise and the street’s peace, I couldn’t stop my mind from starting 

to wonder. 

Why on earth had Reiner brought up that phrase? 

Indeed, there was also the question of why, on the last two occasions we had seen each other, 

he had been more physical than usual. I had simply told myself that there was nothing 

unusual about it – that it was still an absolutely chaste, friendly hug and kiss that meant 

nothing… but now, with that phrase buzzing around in my head, I couldn’t really believe it. 

A bad feeling began to grow in my stomach. 

Maybe he wants to sleep with me. 

After all, the mating bond between us was there – and it was known what that bond drove people to do. If I wasn’t insensitive to his presence (well, insensitive was a bit of an understatement: ever since he came back, I’d had to resort to the nightstand drawer where I kept a couple of s*x toys more than once) it was logical to think that he wasn’t insensitive to mine either: besides, he was an Alpha – so inevitably, his already strong traits of protection, 

dominance and even libido were accentuated by the bond. 

It was natural that he wanted certain things, and perhaps was taking action to … get them. 

But he did not want me – not in the way, at least, that he wanted me four years ago. 

I was sure of this: he did not want to make love to me, but simply to f**k. 

Because any love he had once held for me, Sheila had taken good care to crush and destroy. 

I think his exact words were I don’t want to see that cheating slut ever again. 

3/5 

+3 Point 

23 

Sheila’s words echoed in my mind. 

I’d been hearing that a lot, ever since Reiner had returned and my feelings, which I had tried to keep at bay, had started to come back up. 

For Reiner, loyalty, whether it was to the pack, to family, or to one’s mate, had always been the 

most sacred thing there could be – I had felt his ire that day, and seen the disappointment and 

bitterness on his face both when he had told me about what his family had done to him and 

when he had found out about Violet. 

In his view of things, I had betrayed him and then kept his babies from him: perhaps his 

opinion of me had improved a bit recently, and he certainly always was kind, friendly, and 

helpful to me, but I knew, deep inside, that he still saw me as the one who had betrayed him in our marriage bed, in the pack house we led. 

A w***e. 

He didn’t love me – surely, not the way I loved him, with every fiber of my heart: maybe he cared 

about me because I was the mother of his children, but that was the end of it. 

If he wanted to approach me for certain purposes, it was obvious that it was not to make love. 

The problem? Although part of me wanted nothing more than to get under the covers with him 

… I knew I could never bear a basic mating – no feelings involved. 

Reiner was my mate. He was the love of my life. I’d never have been able to tolerate something as intimate as that, which had always been full of feelings and love for us, being reduced to a mere … outburst of impulses. I’d never be able to be with him knowing that he saw me as a slut – and I knew that if I gave myself to him, that belief of his would inevitably be 

reinforced. 

It was already hard enough to know that he already saw me that way… but if he was definitely 

convinced of that, I would die of it. 

I’d give you all of me, my love, but I must keep what little of my heart I have left. 

North Wave 

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